Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Girls Guide to Being a "Plus One"

Jim Vallance with Billy Talent
What's a "Plus One"? Well if you guessed it had to do with size, you can guess again. Being a "Plus One" is the very important job of providing accompaniment to friends in positions where they can afford you.

Now, the life of a plus one seems glamorous on the surface. You get luxurious expense account dinners, entry into sold out shows, and free CD's. You get to meet famous people in exotic recording studios and in dingy clubs. You never pay for drinks and you get to hang out with cute cute boys.

Now before you get all excited and look for someplace to sign up, I must warn you of the perils.

Being a plus one means never sleeping. Yup, you often don't get home until dawn, and as a not so VIP, you'll probably will miss your sleep. I know I do.

You'll need to be able to run interference at the drop of a hat. Is your friend involved in a conversation they need rescuing from? You'll need to come up with an urgent excuse. Do they not want to talk to someone? You'll need to look like you are deep into an enthralling conversation. Does your friend need an excuse? You’ll need to be able to lie quickly and with authority.

When you go see a band, and you hate them you’ll have to stay. When you go see a band and you love them, you’ll have to go.

Last but not least, your friend will want to stay with you.

Of course I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s a job I was born to perform and I think I do a damn fine job of it.


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